Learning to love again
by luvaddek
Summary: Derek was appointed as the new Chief of Surgery. He had achieved what he had wanted for years but still he didn't feel anything. All he felt was emptiness. What was missing?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: GA or the characters mentioned are not mine.

* * *

><p>Derek was sitting alone outside his trailer nursing a glass of scotch. It was pretty late but he couldn't sleep. Today was a big day for him. The board had chosen him as the next chief. He had beaten very tough competitors and achieved what he had always wanted. He had often dreamed about this day. He believed that becoming a chief would make something happen. It would make everything different. He had waited for this day for so long. He thought he would feel on top of the world, but for some reason, he didn't. Even after realizing his lifetime ambition he wasn't in any celebratory mood. Rather he was sliding into an unexpected depression. He felt empty.<p>

His first reaction was not at all like this. He did feel on top of the world when Richard announced the big news to him. He had a victorious feeling. He had trumped his enemies Mark and Addison. He couldn't wait to gloat in front of them. He only considered Burke as his real threat but he was more excited for beating Mark and Addison. He knew they both were good candidates for the position and in New York they would have given him tough competition but the equations were different in Seattle. They didn't stand any chance here and it annoyed him when they though they did. Seattle was his sanctuary. They should have backed out long before but then his victory wouldn't have been so special.

He couldn't wait to see his competitors' reactions. Burke was a rival since day one but it was only professional. He thought it was a healthy competition. He expected Burke to accept his defeat sportingly but Burke left hospital immediately after his meeting with Richard. It was understandable. He was supposed to get married today. Burke had other important things to worry about. But still Burke could have at least congratulated him as a professional courtesy. But even when they met him at wedding, Burke didn't even mention anything about the promotion.

Mark and Addison were the ones who surprised him the most. They weren't just professional competitors. They were Derek, Addison and Mark. They had history together. Since med-school they had shared this dream about becoming a chief of surgery and each one had confidently claimed that they would be the first one to get there. Probably they were the only ones who exactly knew how important and significant this opportunity was for him. But still neither of them had bothered to acknowledge his achievement. Both of them made themselves scarce for rest of the day. This wasn't the first time they had stood against each other. They had always been competitors, first for top rank in exams, then surgeries in internship and then for the position of chief resident. But each time it was healthy competition. They were always happy for whoever won and had always celebrated like it was their own success. But now things had changed. They weren't friends anymore. The competition between them wasn't just professional. It was more like fighting for their territories.

Derek felt a bit sad for not able to share his joy with his ex-best friends. But the feeling vanished when he saw Meredith approaching him. He didn't need his ex-best friends. He had Meredith, his love to share every joy of life. He shared the big news with her and he could see in her eyes how happy she was for him. Her eyes were filled with admiration and pride. She was in hurry to solve some Cristina related crisis but she congratulated him with a quick peck and promised him that they would celebrate tonight at Joe's. Derek reminded himself that he had his dream job and dream girl and life was perfect. But why didn't it feel that way. May be his mood will change after they celebrate his success tonight.

But they didn't get any chance to celebrate. He didn't know why but his dream girl dumped him at the wedding which didn't happen. "It is so so over" that's what he got. No further explanation. He felt it was Karma. He had left the people who loved and cared for him for no reason and now the girl whom he loved and deeply cared left him. He deserved it.

So here he was. On the biggest day of his life he was sitting alone in middle of nowhere making his own celebratory drink. He wondered if it had made any difference if Meredith hadn't dumped him. May be he would still be alone tonight. Meredith wouldn't have left Cristina for him. Her friends were her family. They were always her top priority. And her idea of celebration was getting smashed at Joe's. But now even that did not happen. He had no one with whom he could celebrate, no friend to pat on his shoulder, no family to say how proud they were.

He had called his mom to share the news. Luckily all his sisters and their families were also at mom's house. It was one of his niece's birthday and they were celebrating at mom's place. As usual he had forgotten but he promised to send a nice gift. But his niece wasn't much interested in talking to her estranged uncle. She barely spoke two sentences and handed the phone back to his mother. He wondered if Addison had wished her. He didn't know how things were between his sister and Addison. Most probably they were still on good terms and in that case Addison must have sent some expensive gift in advance.

His mother sensed that there was a reason he called because there were very few occasions when he did. When Derek told her about his promotion she was ecstatic. She couldn't express in words how proud she was. She immediately announced the news to everyone. They all shouted congratulations from their places but no one asked for the phone to talk to him personally. The kids were eager to cut the cake so even his mom couldn't talk for long, but she promised to call back. It had been hours since then but she didn't call back, neither anyone else from his family. He couldn't blame them. He had kept absolutely no contact with them, he can't now expect them to forget last two years and jump with joy for him like they once used to.

He remembered the day when he became Head of Neurosurgery. That day was so different, things had changed a lot. He would have never imagined that he would be alone on such a big day of his life but now he was. If he was in New York, he would have been celebrating hard with all of his friends and family. Addison would have arranged a big surprise party for him. Mark would have opened that 1956's scotch bottle which he had bought in an auction. They had decided to open it when one of them becomes chief. Then after the party there would have been an all-night celebration in their bedroom. But nothing of that happened. Addison didn't even congratulate him. At the wedding he was looking at her from where he stood, but she didn't even look at him once. She looked off. She immediately left after the wedding was called off. At least Mark came to him after the wedding and said congratulation but that was it, nothing more.

He had achieved what he wanted for years, but at this moment he felt he had lost everything. He just felt empty.

* * *

><p>AN: Hello people. I have a new idea let me know if it is worth continuing. It will be a long chapter story and of course it will be addek (because addek is the only reason i am on this site) but they will take their sweet time. There will be lots of maddek friendship from the beginning and hardly any Merder. But Derek and Addison won't be together for a long time. So let me know if you guys have patience for addek and interested in reading a maddek fic which would happen over season 4 to 6 of GA else i would just leave it as a one shot.


	2. The first step

A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews and showing interest in this story. Keep reading and reviewing. I hope you like this chapter.

* * *

><p>Joe's bar was very crowded today. Generally Derek preferred some quiet place after a stressful day at work but in Seattle he always ended up in Joe's no matter how much he hated the noisy people around him. Initially he liked the place because that was where he had met Meredith. He continued going to Joe's every day after work even after Addison's arrival because that was where Meredith used to be with her friends. Since Meredith and her friends liked the bar that was where he ended up every evening when he and Meredith were together. And now Joe's had become such an integral part of his routine that he automatically turned there every day without thinking.<p>

But these past two weeks had been different. He didn't have any company in Joes. Meredith and her friends had gone somewhere for a vacation. He hadn't heard a word from her since their break up. Burke and Addison had left Seattle. Richard hardly came to Joe's. He had no one to talk to. At times he sat with Miranda who sometimes came there for a quick drink. But mostly he sat alone and silently observed other people.

In hospital he spent most of his time taking over the charge from Chief and learning about his new job. Though he was selected as the new chief, Richard hadn't retired yet. They had agreed that Richard would continue as chief for a month till Derek learns everything. Then he was going to handover the title to Derek in a formal function. The board had arranged a farewell cum welcome aboard party for Richard and Derek which was scheduled two weeks later.

Like every other day today also he was sitting alone at the bar. He heard a familiar voice ordering a very familiar drink. Since there was no other sit available, Mark hesitantly took the sit beside Derek. The two men exchanged a nod but neither of them spoke any word. They just sat there in silence without acknowledging each other's presence. After two more pegs Derek turned towards Mark and noticed that he was engrossed in observing a group of girls sitting at a booth near the entrance. Derek also joined Mark in observing those girls. He didn't remember seeing them before. Most probably they weren't from SGH.

"Which one of them are you planning to bang tonight?" Derek asked casually without looking at Mark.

"I am not able to decide between that busty blonde and skinny brunette." Mark replied without taking his eyes off the girls.

"I knew you would want that blonde. She is definitely hotter than the brunette but she also appears smart and classy. She might not let you get into her pants easily. On the other hand that drunken brunette looks loose and easy. You would have a sure shot with her." Derek offered his analysis of the situation in a business like tone.

"You are right. I should go for the brunette. I will send her a drink. Thanks for your help." Mark said looking at Derek for the first time. He then turned to Joe's "Hey Joe, can you refill our drinks and send a round of tequila shots from me to that brunette over there?"

"Sure. Which one?" Joe asked refilling Mark and Derek's glasses.

"The one sitting at the booth near the entrance." Mark turned again to show the girl to Joe but all the colors on his face drained at the site in front of him.

"Which one?" Joe asked again.

"The one who is kissing the busty blonde." Derek answered on behalf of Mark with a straight face but couldn't hold back his laughter for long.

Mark motioned Joe to drop the idea. He was already frustrated and Derek's loud laugh was annoying him even more. "Shut up Shepherd. This isn't funny."

"Oh sure it is. You should have seen the look on your face. What are the chances that both the women you were eyeing turn out lesbian and start making out with each other? I am sorry for your disappointment." Derek said in between his laughs. "As a consolation let me buy you a drink. So who is your next target?" Derek asked loosening a bit more.

"No one else looks appealing. Anyways I have already got some in the afternoon." Mark replied nonchalantly.

"Stop sleeping with the nurses at the hospital."

"I didn't sleep with any nurse. It was an attending from oncology." Mark replied smugly.

Derek shook his head disapprovingly. "I do not want to know who_ it_ was."

"Okay. All I will say is she was more than pleased with the multi orgasms I gave her. She thought I was god's gift to female species." Mark smirked.

"I didn't want to know that either. But seriously Mark you need to stop sleeping around in the hospital. As a chief of surgery I am going to forbid everyone from having sex in on call rooms. I am thinking about disabling all the locks of on call room doors."

"Says the person who screwed his mistress in an examination room. Let's see what you do when your slutty intern comes back." Mark retorted.

"Well I am planning not to repeat my mistakes. As the Chief of Surgery I need to be more responsible. And Meredith broke up with me so nothing will change even when she comes back."

"She did? So the rumors are true! I am sorry man." Mark said patting Derek's back.

"It's okay. I should have seen it coming. We weren't working. We are very different and are at very different stages in our lives. We want different things. I suppose we weren't meant to be." Derek confessed.

"Hmm. So you are going to be the Chief of Surgery of Seattle Grace in two weeks. You must be thrilled. How does it feel to be at the top?" Mark asked to change the topic.

"Would you believe me if I say I don't feel anything?"

"No. Come on don't try to be modest in front of me. Even though we aren't friends anymore I know you very well. You wanted to be a chief since our internship days. You were obsessed for the post in your last years in New York. You remember, we used to spend hours talking about which one of us would become the Chief and what we would do once we get that power. This is a great achievement man. You have finally got what you always wanted. You should be on cloud nine. If I had got that job I wouldn't have stopped celebrating."

"How would you have celebrated if you had got the job?"

"Just like we always do. Party, dinner, drinks, dance with..." Mark stopped to think about with whom he would have celebrated. All his friends and family which was actually Derek's family was in New York. He didn't have any friends in Seattle. No one really liked him. In that moment he also realized that Derek didn't had anyone with whom he could celebrate his success.

"With?" Derek smirked.

"I don't know. With umm Addison." Mark replied uncertainly.

"From what I have heard she left the town immediately after the wedding." Derek corrected Mark.

"Yes she did. She didn't even tell me before leaving. When she came to the wedding her bags were already packed but she didn't even mention that she was leaving the city for good. I sensed something was off with her but I thought it was just the effect of wedding and the memories. She called me from the airport before boarding her flight. She chose not to tell me about such am important decision of hers till last minute." Mark spoke vulnerably.

"At least she told you before leaving. She didn't think I was worthy enough of her goodbye. I came to know about her departure from Richard that too only because as the new chief I was supposed to know about resignation of one of the staff members." Derek sounded very hurt by Addison's action.

But Derek's reaction didn't surprise Mark. Though Derek had moved on with his life which was rather too quickly, Addison was once a big part of his life. Addison was a big part of both of their lives. The dynamics of their relationships had changed but still because of the hospital they were still part of each other's lives in someway. They still saw each other everyday at work. Even though Addison hated Mark most of the times, he knew she was there if he ever needed a friend. Same was true for Derek. Though Derek behaved as if Addison didn't exist, he went to her if he had to talk. Addison stood by Derek's side and supported him at the time of Meredith's accident even though the situation must be killing her. She was there for Derek whenever he needed him. She was their best friend. But now she was gone. She was moving on and building a life without them. Mark was still not able to digest the fact that Addison had gone and it seemed that neither did Derek.

"How is she doing?" Derek asked after an awkward silence.

"She must be good since she is back in New York." Mark replied.

"New York? I though she moved to LA." Derek asked in confusion.

"No she first went to New York. She said she had to close all loose matters in New York. She left New York quite abruptly the last time, lots of things were pending. She wanted to first clear everything before going to LA. She is putting the brownstone for sale." Mark informed him.

"What? She is selling the brownstone? That was our first home. We fell in love with it the moment we saw it. We took a year to finish the interiors. We spent so much time making sure that every corner of the home was perfect. And now my home is in the market for sale and I get to know about it from _you_."

"I don't think you have any right to complaint. Last year you behaved as if you didn't give a shit about New York or your previous life. You clearly told her that all you were interested in was Seattle. She gave you what you wanted. And she told me only because my bike was there. She wanted to know what she should do with the bike."

"Whatever the reason is, but the fact remains that you know about Addison and her current life more than I do." Derek sighed. "Are you in touch with my sisters?" Derek asked out of a blue. He wanted to know if Mark had taken over his place in his family as well.

"Not very much since I moved here. You know I am not good at keeping in touch. I spoke to Katherine few months back regarding a patient. I spoke to Nancy couple of time. But Amelia calls me every now and then."

"Amy calls you? She never calls anyone of us!" Derek asked in surprise.

"Yes she calls me whenever she does something adventurous or stupid which she can't share with anyone else."

"What adventurous or stupid things Mark? Is she slipping back?" Derek reacted immediately. Though he and Amelia weren't on good terms, he cared for her like a daughter and was always worried about her.

"Relax Derek. This is why she doesn't call you people. You always assume worst for her. She confides in me because I don't judge her. She is working her ass off as a resident. She is damn serious about her career. She has come a long way since those days. Give her some credit." Mark defended Amelia.

"Can I ask you something? I know you will be honest. How horrible am I?" Derek's question caught Mark off guard again.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I have lost everyone, my sisters, Addie, you, our other friends. I know I have become a horrible person but I don't know how horrible. I don't know if there is still any chance or I have gone too far."

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most horrible I would give you seven as a brother & friend and twenty as a husband. But I think there is still a chance with your sisters. Derek your problem is you have set the bar too high. For years you had been this sweet, caring, dependable and supportive family guy. They used to count on you for being there for them but then you got self-engrossed and stopped caring about others. And when you left Seattle you completely abandoned them all. They tried to maintain a relation across the country but you didn't respond to their efforts at all. They are hurt. But I am sure they will forgive you. You are a lucky bastard Derek all the women in your life have been very forgiving towards you. You got second chances which in my opinion you didn't deserve nor valued. Everyone is not as lucky as you are. I never got a second chance." Mark answered honestly.

Derek though over what Mark had said. He realized that Mark was talking about Addison when he said he never got the second chance.

"Addison did quite a number on you didn't she? This is a completely new side of Mark which didn't even know existed." Derek stated looking straight into Mark's eyes.

"It's quite late. I should leave I have an early surgery tomorrow." Mark said completely avoiding Derek's question and gaze. Derek didn't press the issue further. This was the first time the two ex-best friends had a real conversation since New York. Both of them had missed each other. But both were equally egoist and stubborn. Neither of them was going to admit that they had a good time. Mark stood up and started to leave but he stopped abruptly and turned back towards Derek "Derek, if you ever need someone to talk to you know my number and where I live." After that statement he quickly left without waiting for Derek's response. Derek just kept staring at his retreating friend.


	3. Its all coming back

Derek stood in front of the tiny mirror of his trailer staring at his image. He was dressed in an Italian charcoal grey business suite with a white shirt. Addison had bought this suite for him on some occasion which he didn't recollect. He knew she would approve of his attire but wasn't sure if she would want him to wear a light blue tie or a matching grey one. He contemplated both the options and settled for the matching grey tie. He checked his image again and felt that he looked appropriate for the occasion. Today evening, Derek was officially going to take over Richard's place as new Chief of Surgery. The big day had arrived.

Two weeks had passed though not quickly since his brief hangout with Mark. They hadn't talked much since that night but they were cordial towards each at the hospital. Meredith and her friends were back at work. She had definitely broken up with him but they continued screwing each other. Derek didn't like the 'no strings attached' sex but he let her use him. But getting kicked out in middle of a night was a wakeup call for him. He wasn't a sex toy. He deserved better. _'You are an honorable man.'_ Mrs. Burke's words replayed in his head. That was when he decided to cut all personal ties with Meredith. He didn't speak to her at all after that night. But apparently she didn't want that either. Today she came to him to talk.

"Yes Dr. Grey?" Derek asked in utmost professional manner.

"Derek I just wanted to tell you that if you want I could come with you to today's function. It's a big day for you. You shouldn't have to go there alone." Meredith spoke genuinely.

She was just trying to save Derek from embarrassment. Somehow the news of Derek RSVPing as +1 had leaked out. Everyone had assumed that he was planning to take Meredith with him. Their breakup had made the matter even more interesting. Now people were betting if Meredith will accept his invitation and go with him or turn him down making him show up alone. Meredith didn't want him to become a subject of hospital's ruthless gossip by showing up alone. She had decided to go with him but even though the day of event had arrived, he hadn't asked her yet. She thought he must be feeling awkward to ask her after the way she treated him. So she saved him the trouble and went to talk to him.

"Why would I want you to accompany me for the function? You are not my wife. You are not even my girlfriend. You are just an intern at the hospital I work at." Derek snapped. He didn't want her pity.

"Fine. Go by yourself. I don't care. I heard you RSVPed as +1 so I was just trying to be supportive. And by the way I am not an intern. I am a resident now." She said that and stormed out of the room.

Yes Derek had RSVped as +1. But Meredith wasn't the +1 he was intending to take with him. He wanted his wife.. no now the ex-wife to come with him. When he received the invitation he automatically thought of Addison and ticked +1 even though he hadn't spoken to her in days. He sent her an invitation at her new address and hoped that she would accept but she didn't. She just sent a card and a very expensive pen. But she didn't come neither called.

Derek shook the thoughts of his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend aside and headed for the event. It was a formal function which included lots of boring speeches from lots of boring people including him. But the upside was that he didn't have to chat with unnecessary people. Except for his speech he had to just sit at his designated table, hear the speeches and clap whenever required. Richard, Adel, Dr. Schmidt the chairman of the board, Mr. Schmidt and Derek were at the central table. There was an empty chair beside Derek. Mark was sitting at an adjoining table with few other attendings and board members. The chairman of the board gave the opening speech and talked about state of the hospital and future plans. He thanked Richard for his great work and enormous contribution to the hospital's success. There was a short film about Richard's journey throughout the years. Then some of board members and attendings spoke about Richard to give him tribute. Richard had dedicated his entire life for the hospital. He deserved this honor. Adele was sitting by his side holding her husband's hand. It was her honor two. Richard dedicated all his success to his wife. Throughout the event Adele was looking at her husband with utmost admiration and love. He had someone who looked at him exactly like that but she was gone. After Richard's felicitation the chairman announced Dr. Derek Shepherd as the new chief. It followed by brief introduction of Derek's credentials and his achievements. Though he knew she wasn't there he searched the room for her admiring eyes. Just like Richard there were few speeches about Derek. But they all were stereotype. He had a feeling that people were talking just for a formality without really meaning any of it.

He was surprised when Mark came up to the podium to speak. In spite of their estranged relationship Mark spoke from his heart about what an extraordinary doctor Derek was. He recited few stories from their college and residency days which reiterated Derek's capabilities for the job. He ended his speech by saying that he believed that Derek will take the hospital to new heights. Derek was moved by his speech. That's what Mark would have said back in New York. That is how he would have looked at Derek when they were friends. Derek didn't expect him to do that now. He looked genuinely happy for Derek. Derek gave him a small smile from his place, Mark returned it with a short nod. They didn't need to say anything. They could read each other's thoughts. After all they were brothers.

Derek's first day as chief went okay. He held various meetings with staff members to explain the new policies he wanted to implement. He was so caught in administrative work that he didn't get time to step a feet in OR. He knew people were gossiping about his solo appearance last night but he ignored it. Currently he was going through applications for positions of head of cardiology, gynecology, neonatal and pediatrics. When Addison was there she used to overlook the pediatrics department too so her departure was like loss of three doctors at a time. Derek shortlisted few applications but wasn't really impressed by any of them. He was literally pulling his hair when someone knocked on at his door.

"Come in" Derek shouted.

"How is the Chief of Seattle Grace Hospital doing?" Mark asked entering the office.

"Mark! What brings you here?" Derek asked gesturing him to take a seat.

"I came here to give you an opportunity to brag. So tell me how does it feel to be the captain of the ship?" Mark asked getting comfortable in his seat.

"I feel like being captain of a sinking ship. I am scared that I am going to fail miserably. This hospital is in a mess. We are terribly understaffed. Addie is gone, Burke is gone, Richard has retired and I will be stuck in management work. Basically you are the only one I have on floor. How am I supposed to run a hospital without competent surgeons? And don't even get me started on other staff. The interns who are first year residents now have no regard to any rules and policies. They behave the way they want without any thought about consequences. I am sure they are going to pass on the same attitude to the new batch of interns. Do you know that the new interns also started calling me McDreamy? I am the chief for god's sake. I deserve some respect. How am I going to discipline these people who think of me as a chocolate boy? I am lost I don't know what to do." Derek let out his frustration.

"Derek is this your time of the month? Is that why you are so grouchy? You sound like your ex-girlfriend." Mark said with a smirk.

"This isn't funny Mark. I am serious. I have got this great opportunity but I have a feeling that things are going to go downhill, the board will demote me and I will have a stamp of big failure on my resume. Do you think it was a career suicide to accept the position at this point?" Derek asked vulnerably. He was having doubts for last couple of days but he didn't have anyone to share them.

"It's okay man. You are just having cold feet. This is a turning point in our career it's natural to be little anxious. I know things are a bit shaky but you will stir perfectly through it. If you need any help I am here for you. You can overcome the understaffing by new recruitments. Surgeons come and go but hospitals keep running. Edward lost three of us in a year but the hospital still ranks number one. Seattle Grace was running smooth before anyone of us moved here. Just keep fishing you will catch the good ones. As far as your concern for your image goes believe me buddy it doesn't matter. In my entire life no one has taken me seriously but I am still on top of my field. When you have talent you don't need to worry about other stuff." Mark tried to assure his friend.

"That's true in OR. But managing the hospital is different. You need to be all-rounder." Derek continued whining.

"Yes and you _are_ an all-rounder. Don't doubt that. If you don't believe in yourself, believe in the board. They trusted you for this job. They are smart people they won't take a wrong decision. And if you don't even believe in them at least believe in the wisdom of the genius sitting in front of you. Don't you remember what I said yesterday? I meant every word buddy. I know you have a good vision. You can take this hospital to new heights."

"Thanks bro. I am feeling better now. Thanks a lot." Derek said with a smile.

"No problem. It's killing me to say this but I am really proud of you. You will be a good boss." Mark said smugly.

"I am afraid you wouldn't feel that way after I announce policies about office romance and sexual intercourse at the hospital." Derek chucked.

"No man you can't do that to me. This is so unfair." Mark groaned.

"Life is unfair my friend." Derek teased him but suddenly he became serious realizing the depth in those words. "Mark would you believe me if I say that I missed her yesterday?"

"Yes I would believe that." Mark said narrowing his eyes. "I missed her too. She should have been there. She is the woman behind your success. She deserves some credit. You know I was really happy when you guys split. I still think setting her free from a lousy marriage was the only good thing you did to her in last couple of years. But last night that empty seat beside you felt weird. I always imagined her to be there for such an occasion. Not just for you but even for me as a close friend. When I missed her when it wasn't even my day then I can imagine how you must be feeling. She was an important part of your journey till here. It's okay to miss her. Don't think too much into it." Mark offered his wisdom.

"Thanks that helped too. I was having this weird feeling but I didn't know what it meant." Derek confessed.

"I am a genius accept that." Mark smirked.

"I wanted her to be there. I sent her an invitation but she didn't come. She just sent a congratulatory card and this pen." Derek showed him the pen.

"Wow! This looks classy and expensive." Mark exclaimed examining the pen.

"It is. It's custom made. Her grandfather had one like this. She promised me to get one for me when I become chief. She always used to gift me a pen before every important venture." Derek recalled.

"Yeah I know. Good old days." Mark nodded think about the old times.

"Good old days." Derek repeated with a hint of sadness.

"Enough of this depressing talk. Are you done for the day? Let's go and grab a drink. It's your first day as a chief we should celebrate." Marked said changing the topic.

"I am almost done. I just need to make a phone call. why don't you go ahead. I will meet you directly at Joes in some time." Derek suggested.

"We are not going to Joes. The chief of surgery cannot drink with common people. There is an upscale bar near my place. Chicks are much better there. We are going there. I will wait for you in the lobby." Mark had already made the plan.

"Sounds good." Derek agreed.

After Mark left Derek took a deep breath and dialed a number which he knew by heart.

"Dr. Montgomery." She answered after few rings.

"Hey it's me." Derek said softly.

"Oh. The Dr. Derek Shepherd The chief of surgery of The Seattle Grace Hospital! What a surprise!"

"Yes it's The me." Derek chuckled.

"Congratulations. You fulfilled your dream. I am happy for you. So how was yesterday's ceremony?" Addison asked enthusiastically.

"You would have known if you had come. Why didn't you come?" Derek asked.

"Ummm. I didn't think there was a place for me there." Addison said hesitantly.

"Your place was beside me. I wanted you there. I had sent you an invitation."

"Derek I just started a new job few days back. I couldn't take a leave. Plus I didn't want to make things awkward by showing up for my ex-husband's felicitation. But I sent you a pen. You liked it?"

"Yeah I loved it. I used that to sign my contract."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"So how was your first day as the chief?" Addison asked after few moments of awkward silence.

"It was okay nothing special. Nothing like what I had imagined. I was supposed christen my desk by having hot sex with my wife but she broke her promise." Derek said referring to the pact they had made years back.

"You can christen your desk with Meredith." Addison said bitterly.

"Meredith isn't the one with whom I made the pact 12 years ago." Derek said sadly.

"But Meredith is the one for whom you broke all the promises and pacts made over 12 years." Addison reminded him sadly.

"Me and Meredith are.." Derek tried to tell her about their breakup but Addison was in no mood to listen anything about them.

"Hey Derek listen I have to go. I have plans. (She didn't) My friends are waiting for me (no one was). Congratulations once again. It was nice talking to you. Goodbye." She cut their conversation abruptly and hung up.

"Me and Meredith are not together anymore." Derek completed his sentence even though he knew she had hung up.

* * *

><p>AN: So these three were the pilot chapters. The story will start from next one. Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for reviewing and favorating this story. Sorry for delay in updating. I will try not to take so long for next chapter. Please read and don't forget to review.

* * *

><p>August 2007<p>

Addison paid the cab driver, took a deep breath, pulled on her Satan exterior and took a step towards SGH entrance with confidence. She thought she had left this place for good but now three months later she was back in the rainy city for a special consult. So much had changed in last three months. But she didn't get much time to linger on that thought. Miranda Baily approached her with a consultant's badge and other required authorizations.

"Welcome back." Dr. Baily showed her rare smile.

"I am not _back_ back, I am here just for a day." Addison clarified quickly.

"I believe you." Dr. Baily commented sarcastically. "Do you want me to offer you that tasteless coffee first or shall we directly get down to business?"

"I had enough caffeine in the flight, airport and cab. I would like to meet my patient first." That was half true. Though she had too much coffee since morning, she could have used another cup but she didn't want to run into any unwanted people in the cafeteria so she directly headed for her patient's room.

"Chief wanted to welcome you personally but got caught up in errands so he sent me to receive you. But he is waiting for you on the surgical floor." Miranda informed her.

"No issues. I just need someone to escort me to my patient's room. I can manage everything from there." Addison shrugged. She was very well aware of people staring at her and whispering behind her back but she chose to ignore them as she always did when she worked here. In some weird way it was comforting to see that some things hadn't changed.

"Have you secured me the intern I had requested? I don't have patience to teach anyone new." Addison asked stepping into the elevator.

"He isn't an intern anymore but yes he will be on your service today." Dr. Baily assured her.

As the elevator doors opened, her eyes landed at the said cocky intern/first year resident. He acknowledged his former mentor with a curt nod. She gave him a small smile and followed Miranda towards the private patients' rooms. As they turned a corner, she saw the new chief of SGH standing in front of surgery board. She took a moment to study him. He still looked the same. The sight in front of her was very familiar the only difference was he wasn't wearing scrubs but a light blue button down shirt and dark blue jeans.

"Chief your surgeon is here." Dr. Baily announced. Derek turned immediately and smiled.

"Welcome back." Derek extended his hand for a handshake which Addison accepted awkwardly.

"I am not _back_ back" Addison started but Miranda completed her sentence. "She is here just for a day."

"So how are you? How is LA?" Derek asked trying to sound enthusiastically.

"Everything is great." Addison answered smiling as brightly as possible. "I have read Mrs. Jones files. Dr. Baily has been administrating the steroids prescribed by me since last night. I would first like to do an ultrasound before taking the final call but as per my calculations I think I can operate on her in the afternoon." Addison said going into doctor mode.

"That is good. You have Baily and Karev to assist you. I have already reserved an afternoon slot of OR 2 for you. Let me know if you need anything else. If you are ready let's go and meet the Jones." Derek said leading the way. Karev who was standing not far behind them quickly joined the team.

Derek knocked on the door and entered Mrs. Jones room. "Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Jones."

Mr. Jones stood up seeing so many doctors entering the room. "Good morning doctors."

"Mr. and Mrs. Jones let me introduce you to our start surgeon Dr. Addison Montgomery. She is a double board certified OB/GYN and an expert in genetics. So far she has performed 114 surgeries of this kind and has the highest success rate of 86%. She has specially come from Los Angelis for your surgery. Mr. Jones your wife and babies are in safe hands." Derek proudly introduced Addison to the Jones.

Addison was surprised by Derek's words. She couldn't remember the last time Derek had looked at her with so much pride. But he wasn't Derek he was the Chief of Seattle Grace Hospital now. He was just trying to make the hospital look good by making her look good.

After introducing Addison Derek excused himself from the room to get back to his work. He wanted to have lunch with Addison but he was caught up in meetings the whole day. He didn't even get time to step out of his office. Thanks to his secretary Patricia he had a sandwich in his office in between two meetings.

"Knock knock" Derek looked up from his files when he heard clicking of heels followed by a familiar voice. "Come in Addison." He called from his desk.

Addison walked in smiling and sat down in one of the chair in front of Derek's desk.

"As expected my surgery was successful. Mother and babies all are fine. The babies will have to stay in NICU for a week but you can discharge Mrs. Jones in two days. I have given all the necessary instructions to Miranda and Karev. They can call me anytime if they need." Addison reported.

"I have one more request. Since you are here can you please.."

"I have already checked all the babies in NICU and all the pregnant mothers in the department. All are stable. There are no critical cases which would require my special care. So I am good to go." Addison answered even before Derek could state his request.

Derek smiled appreciating her proactive behavior. Addison smiled back relaxing a bit in the chair. She slightly swirled around taking in her surroundings. The office looked just the same except Richard's certificates and photos were replaced by Derek's certificates. There were no personal photos. Her eyes landed back at the man in front of her.

"You look good in this chair." Addison complimented him with admiring eyes. Derek just smiled modestly.

"So what's new in Seattle Grace? It looks like a lot has changed since I left." Addison tried to start a small talk. She thought it would be easier to talk about neutral hospital topics than their personal lives. Callie had already filled her in about most of the important events of last three months including her ex-husband's breakup.

"Yeah. A lot has happened in last few months, your departure was the most significant of all. Addison, tell me what do I have to do to get you back. I want you back." Derek demanded staring deep into her eyes. Addison was taken aback by his words.

"I have already drawn a new contract for you. It is a very generous offer. You can't resist it." Derek continued, placing a contract in front of her.

_'So he just needs me professionally. The chief of Seattle Grace Hospital wants Dr. Addison Montgomery back. Derek has no interest at all in Addison.' _She thought.

"Thanks for the offer chief but I am not interested." Addison returned the contract without even glancing at it. "Just give me my check and relieving letter and I will be out of your office."

"No you can't go. Just read the contract. I am offering you 25% raise from your last contract. You are also entitled to a research grant up to $ 2 million. You will have full autonomy and you can make whatever changes you want in your department." Derek pushed the contract back towards her.

Addison was not interested in coming back to Seattle but she started reading the contract out of curiosity. While she was reading the terms Mark abruptly entered Derek's office without bothering to knock.

"Hasn't anyone taught you to knock before entering a room?" Derek asked with annoyance.

"No." Mark replied plainly and turned towards Addison. "So the rumors are true. You are in this hospital since morning and you didn't even bother to come and meet your best friend!" Mark exclaimed sitting in the chair beside her.

"I was about to come and find you after leaving Derek's office. I looked for you in the afternoon but you were in surgery. Then I went into surgery and blah blah blah." Addison explained.

"Why didn't you tell me that she was coming?" Mark asked Derek.

"Her visit wasn't pre-planned. The patient came in ER last night. Simpson couldn't operate on her so I called Addie and here she is. If you will excuse us, we have a contract to negotiate." Derek explained and turned his focus back to Addison.

"Wow. You are coming back. That is great." Mark loved the idea of having Addie back in Seattle.

"No I am not. I am leaving SGH in few minutes and I am leaving Seattle tomorrow morning." Addison clarified again and returned the contract to Derek with determination.

"You just came here. You can't go. Cancel your ticket." Mark recommended.

"I can't. I need to be back in LA tomorrow morning."

"Then let's go out for dinner tonight." Mark suggested looking at Addison and then Derek for their approval.

"Sorry I can't. I have already made plans with Callie. I am going to Joe's with her for drinks." Addison said apologetically.

"No you are not. Derek put Callie on call for tonight. And you already had lunch with Callie. You have to have dinner with us." Mark demanded.

"You mean three of us together? I don't think that is a very good idea." Addison shook her head picturing three of them passing snide remarks throughout the dinner.

"Why not? There is a very nice steakhouse in downtown. Their food is incredible. You will love it. Let's go there tonight." Derek suggested.

"What? You want to go to dinner with me and Mark?" Addison asked with widened eyes.

"I can still feel the taste of their steak on my lips. Their liquor collection is also amazing. When I and Derek went their last time, we ate for almost two hours. You have to try this place." Mark insisted. Derek also nodded supporting Mark.

Addison looked between Mark and Derek with astonishment. "You _both_ went there? You mean you and Derek went there _together_ with each other?"

"Yes we did. Why are you so shocked? Didn't anyone tell you that we are friends again?" Mark shrugged.

"You guys are friends? How did that happen?" Addison was still under shock.

"Well thirty five years ago, mine and Derek's parents enrolled us in the same kinder garden. Some guys were bullying him, I went there and rescued him and thus began the greatest friendship of the century." Mark replied smugly knowing very well that she wasn't asking for thirty five year old story. But how could he miss a chance to piss off both Addison and Derek in one go?

"That is so not true. He had picked up a fight with some bigger kids for no reason. I intervened and apologized on his behalf to save him from getting beaten up." Derek opposed Mark's story as he always did.

"I have heard both the versions of this story for thousand times and honestly I am not even interested in knowing which the true one is. What I meant to ask was how did you become friends again? If my memory serves me right, last time i was here Derek couldn't even stand you."

"I still can't stand him most of the times. He is Mark. But with Burke and Richard gone, I don't have any other option. Plus he can play tennis. So we are friends." Derek smirked. Addison looked at Mark for confirmation.

"Yeah we are friends. He was lonely and everyone at the hospital was kind of bullying him so I rescued him again." Mark said smugly.

Derek rolled his eyes but preferred to ignore Mark's statement. "So dinner at 8 at El Gaucho what do you say?"

Addison was still unsure about this idea of having dinner with two of her exes.

"Come on its Derek's treat. The dude has become chief we must celebrate." Mark insisted.

"Okay. I will first have a drink with Callie and then we can go for dinner." Addison agreed hesitantly.

"Good. So I will pick you up at 7.30 from Joe's." Mark told Addison and then turned to Derek to ask his plan. "What about you?"

"I will meet you there at 8 then." Derek didn't like the idea of Mark picking up Addison, he was thinking to pick her up but Mark assumed the responsibility before he could ask her.

xxxxx

"Oh my god!" Addison gasped in between her hysteric laughing. "Mark actually sang Miley Cyrus' Can't be Tamed in front of people?" She continued laughing looking at Mark's flushed face.

"Yes he did in completely offbeat and terrible style. The bartender had to switch off the karaoke in an attempt to stop him but he kept singing even without music. Half of the patrons ran off because of him. It was so hilarious. I even have a video of his stunt." Derek was telling Addison about one of his and Mark's recent adventurous hangouts.

"He talked me into it. He got me drunk and took advantage of me." Mark complained trying to explain his side.

"You are a grown man. You should know when to stop drinking." Derek said laughing out loud. Addison and Derek tried to subdue their laughing noticing other patrons' weird looks.

"So you guys are really friends again." Addison said softly smiling at the two men, finally believing that they were friends again. Both of them nodded smiling back at her.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you both like this. It's like a huge burden has shifted from my shoulders. Now I have one thing less to blame me." Addison confessed.

"Hey don't try to steal all the credit Red. We all worked equally hard to mess our lives." Mark protested trying to comfort her in his own manner.

"Yeah it wasn't just your fault." Derek agreed with Mark.

"I know but still I have to acknowledge my share in it. Anyway you guys are back to being Derek and Mark and that is more important." Addison said flashing her trademark charismatic smile.

"We are not completely there yet but we are working on it. May be we will seek a couples therapy." Mark joked which made them all laugh again.

"Yeah you should. I am sure it will help you. After all Derek loves you more than he loved me. You guys are sole mates." Addison said sarcastically referring to their fights in initial years when Mark used to claim that Derek loved him more. Derek never intervened in their fights before and he opted to do the same now.

"I finally got my best friend back after sixteen years." Mark claimed victoriously.

"You know because of your annoyingly close relationship I had considered a possibility of walking on you guys someday. But…" Addison sportingly confessed her secret fear but stopped talking when she realized what was coming next. But surprisingly both men laughed showing equal sporting attitude.

"Was it your plan all along Mark? To break me and Derek up so that you could have him all for yourself?"

"You are a smart woman Montgomery. You caught me." Mark said winking at her.

Derek silently sat there smiling at Mark and Addison. He observed Addison's every small move. The way she flipped her hair, the way she smiled at them, the way she tilted her head, the way she raised her perfect eyebrow, the way her eyes shines and the way she laughed. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had heard her laugh so carefree. She looked much better than she had in last couple of years.

"So tell me what's new in your lives. Do you still live in Archfield?" Addison asked before taking a bite of her steak.

"No I moved to an apartment near the hospital. Archfiels isn't so much fun without you." Mark told her.

"And what about you? Are you still the wood chopping fisherman living in the trailer?" Addison asked turning to Derek.

"I still own the trailer but I hardly live there. Half of the times I stay at the hospital and for other half I crash at Mark's apartment. So where do you live in LA?"

"I have bought an amazing beach house. It's 5,000 square feet, two storied house with 3 bedrooms, large walk in closets, mahogany furniture, huge patio facing the beach, French window…" Addison was lost in describing her new house when Mark cut her.

"Okay we understood. You have the amazing house."

"Yeah. The point is I have an amazing house. I would have shown you some pictures but your attitude tells me that you aren't interested. By the way have I told you that all my best friends have seen by boobs now?" Addison asked nonchalantly. Her declaration made Derek choke his food in his throat. Mark just looked at her questioningly.

"On my first day in my new house, after taking a shower I was dancing around in a towel. I got carried away and threw away my towel not realizing that I was standing in front of a window which happened to be exactly opposite my neighbor Sam's window. So that is how Sam who was the only one remaining saw my boobs." Addison narrated the story which gave Mark and Derek fits of laughter.

"Oh my god! I am sure Sam was more embarrassed than you." Derek said imagining's Sam's probable reaction.

"Yeah he was. Well I have an amazing body. I have nothing to be embarrassed about." Addison said nonchalantly. Both men nodded checking her out without realizing it.

Rest of the dinner passed like that catching up with each other's lives. For some reason Addison didn't share much about her new life in LA but she keenly listened to everything Mark and Derek told her about Seattle. While they were waiting for the desert, Derek broached the subject of Addison's return again.

"Addie, you tell me your terms and I will incorporate them all in the contract. I can give you 30% raise."

"I am not interested Derek." Addison brushed him off.

"Fine, 50% raise." Derek offered again.

"Money can't buy me Shepherd. Edward offered me 100% raise to join back. You should know I don't work for money."

"Then tell me what do you want. Addie you have built a fantastic state of art neonatal unit here but there aren't any patients. Since you have left all critical cases are going to Mercy west. Hospital's revenue has dropped. The board is questioning me. I can't run a hospital without competent surgeons. I need you to come back Addie." Derek almost pleaded.

"Everyone wants me to work for them unfortunately I can't satisfy them all. I get a new offer almost every week." Addison shrugged.

"Addison, please. Don't say no directly. Take your time and at least consider my offer." Derek requested.

"I don't like giving false hopes. So my first and final answer is no." Addison reinstated.

"But why are you so against my offer?" Derek was frustrated.

"Because I just moved my life to the other state few months back. I have freshly started over. I am not leaving my new job. I like working with my best friend." Addison told him.

"There was a time when you thought of me as your best friend." Derek reminded Addison.

"There was a time when I thought of you as the love of my life. Things changed." Addison retorted not appreciating Derek's resort of emotional blackmailing.

"What do you want me to do Addie? Do you want me to get down on one knee and beg?" Derek asked vulnerably.

"I would like that, though it won't change my answer." Addison chuckled.

"You are enjoying this aren't you?" Mark asked catching the spark in her eyes.

"Absolutely! It's not every day you get to see _the_ Derek Shepherd begging." Addison smirked.

"Wow! You have changed. What happened to the woman who uprooted her entire life and moved into a tiny trailer on her husband's demand? This is a massive change from the woman who advocated Derek in front of his mistress and took all the blame on herself." Mark was astonished by change in Addison's attitude. She looked stronger and more in control, confidence radiating from her every move.

Addison laughed before answering. "I will take this as a compliment. Thank you. I went to LA because I needed a change so I left that gloomy Addison behind and moved on. Luckily I also found my spine back in LA. The clear light of sun made me realize that Derek isn't god. He is a self-centered cheater. So I stopped putting him on pedestal." Addison admitted nonchalantly.

Addison noticed Derek's dejected look. "Don't take it personally. I am not judging you. I am not a saint either. We all made mistakes. I still like you. It's just that I no more think that you are any better than me or Mark." She assured him brushing a thumb over his hand. Derek gave her a small smile in return.

"By the way I want to see mark's karaoke video." Addison said changing the subject.

"Derek you promised you won't show it to anyone." Mark warned him. Derek had blackmailed him into doing lots of things in exchange of keeping that video secret.

"I promised you I won't show it to anyone at work. Technically Addie doesn't work with us so I can show her the video." Derek said giving an evil smile. He took out his i-phone and started searching the video.

"Ha ha. I have already deleted the video from your phone." Mark grinned.

"Don't worry. I have a copy of it on my laptop. I will email it to you Addie." Derek said wickedly.

"You have done enough damage for the day. Let's leave." Mark said grumpily gesturing the waitress for check.

They lingered outside the restaurant for few more minutes before parting ways. Addison and Derek exchanged goodbyes with a warm hug. The hug was so much more comfortable than the awkward handshake they shared in the morning. Addison and Mark then started walking towards Mark's car. Derek stood there a moment longer watching Addison and Mark who were laughing stupidly about something trivial. Mark had lazily draped an arm around Addison's waist. She had leaned slightly on Mark's shoulder. Derek envied them. Even after everything that happened, they were still best friends as they were before. There was no sign of any discomfort like there was in his and Addison's relationship. He wondered whether someday he and Addison could also be real friends again like they once used to be.


End file.
